I’ve always wanted to invent my own derivative. I realize some of you may think that’s strange, but for a finance geek like me, it’s only natural. And I think I’ve come up with a good one.
It’s for people without appropriately large emergency funds to live off if they lose their job or otherwise fall into financial distress. I call it the Expensive Loan Option, or ELO. The way it works is that you pay me a fee of $X per year and I guarantee that you will be able to get a loan at any time during that year for $5X at 20% interest. So, for example, if you want to be sure of being able to borrow $10,000 at 20% interest at any time during the next year, just pay me $2000 and you can sleep soundly.
Excited? Well, of course you are. Perhaps you have a nice job and enough liquid assets to pay four months of expenses should something nasty happen. That’s okay, but the Fabulous Suze Orman has told you that you need eight months worth of liquid assets. No problem! Just buy an ELO from me. If it costs you $3500 a month to support that glam lifestyle of yours, then just sign up for a $14,000 ELO for the modest fee of only $2800. I take PayPal.
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A little over two months ago I wrote a long and ponderous post on the administration’s scheme to help homeowners in trouble and cure the housing crisis. I wasn’t very nice about it. I cruelly suggested that it might not help the 1 in 9 homeowners that the Treasury suggested might be helped. I feel bad about that. I even implied that the strong moral leadership provided by the Treasury’s guidelines would not be enough, that actual legislation would be required.
You must understand, this was in early March, back when things were really grim. Unemployment was rising and house prices seemed to be falling every month. I let my despair overcome my natural American optimism about all the good that government can do if we all chant “Yes, we can!”
Now that May has brought warmer weather and a buoyant stock market, let’s revisit the administration’s housing effort with all the optimism and cheerfulness that it deserves. So two months into it, how is it going? Great. Well, pretty good. Not bad. To be honest, fair. A little less than expected, but it’s still early days. Okay, really crappy, but we’re working on it.
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This is, as you undoubtedly know, Financial Literacy Month. (It is also, apparently, National Anxiety Month and International Guitar Month.) So to celebrate, I have prepared the following personal finance literacy quiz. And who doesn’t like quizzes?
I expect this to be relatively hard for most folks, although every question involves issues that an ordinary person might encounter in their financial lives.
I’m a little uncertain about the technology here, so if there are bugs, I apologize. Also, I assume that it will not work with RSS readers. Sorry.
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Yesterday I was searching for a personal finance blog to pick on when I came to Saving to Invest, which started the day’s entry thusly:
This is a somewhat controversial guest post by Tony Parker. I was debating whether to publish it given religion and finance are a dangerous mix.
Nothing gets my attention like the phrase “controversial guest post.” (Note to self: must google phrase regularly.) And the title promised good material to follow: Church, Religion and Questionable Financial Advice.
It seems that Parker’s family dragged him to church the other day. He hadn’t been in a while, so was surprised by how many people were there. Apparently, The Great Recession has been good for the church biz. I guess that old saying about there being no atheists in foxholes can be extended to economic hard times. (Although, having been there recently, I can assure you that there are atheists at the unemployment office.)
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I’m still in sunny Florida standing on line with the kids at Disney. So no combing the frugalosphere for tips this week. Instead, here are some largely pointless but weirdly amusing links you might enjoy.
Cheaper and easier than college: Smugopedia
A place I could have put my last four posts, but didn’t: Halfbakery
Laugh at missing limbs: PhotoshopDisasters
One the most famous books nobody has actually read: All Work
A blog about stuff that could be called neat, but is mostly weird: Neatorama
And winner of this month’s WTF prize, blog division: Scanwiches
Feel free to add a link to your own favorite dark corner of the web in the comments.
I’ll be back to my old tricks Monday.
Credit Cards, Gurus, Media, Musings | Frank Curmudgeon | 
May 21, 2009 12:22 pm | 
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